5 Essential Rules for Dating a "MILF"

Like Fight Club’s first rule, the first rule of dating a MILF is simple: If you’re still using “MILF” as terminology for a woman you’re interested in, you’re not mature enough to date.

Don't Waste Her Time

A mother, especially a single mother, is a very busy woman. We have a heavy burden on our shoulders, and what we don't need is an immature partner to add to the burden. Please don't waste our time because we have no time to waste. We should choose genuinely worthy men - not men who haven't learned to desire women while respecting them.

Don't Assume She Needs You

From my personal experience and talking to many single moms I know, we don't date to get step-parents for our kids or a second income for our families. While the possibility of a step-parent is certainly a consideration, most of us are looking for love and someone who loves us. As mature women, most of us have a certain ability to survive and a certain economic ability.

Don’t Mistake Being Alone for Loneliness

The “MILF”, as one so charming phrases it, reading a book on her lunch break might not be lonely. There’s a huge difference between being alone and feeling lonely — one that often flies right over the heads of men who think their presence should be a sufficient reason for us to settle and rejoice to avoid the perceived horror of being alone.

For many of us, we've had enough time and experience to realize that there are worse things than being single. And having a partner is no excuse for feeling lonely sometimes. For some people who have a partner, you have to believe that they may still be lonely. It's inner loneliness, not behavioral aloneness.

Don’t Mistake Attractiveness as an Invitation for Sexual Overtures

Even though I am a mother, I am still a woman who can post glamorous, sexy, and provocative photos online. We should be allowed to be attractive, sexually charged women before, during, and after pregnancy and childbirth. But that doesn't mean we're inviting sexual insinuation.

Anyone who can't figure out the difference should stop dating until they can do so.

Stop calling a woman "MILF"

If you're still using the term "cougar" (in private to women or friends), you probably have some work to do.

Dating requires a lot more kindness. There is nothing wrong with attraction or desire. It's human nature, and it can be beautiful. But there's a difference between expressing appreciation for someone's beauty and belittling them as someone to be taken advantage of rather than someone worthy of closeness, respect, and love.